Great sounds!!
The sound has some good sounds to it, but I can tell that this is your first. The song isn't very organized. The introduction of certain instruments could be smoother, like at 1:32. You need to have some kind of a plan when you write stuff. Individualy, this all sounds good, but together, it just doesn't connect.
I would recommend working on each "theme" seperately. see how you can expand each of them, creating a climax and a narrative with each one. You could then combine them later, just make sure you have good transitions, or an solo instrument that carries through most of it to help tie it together.
Hope that helped! If you want, feel free to check out my channel. :)